by Fr. Jack Bentz, SJ

The Christmas season is rarely just one thing at a time. Even though lovely scenes of the Nativity can be captured on the front of countless Christmas cards our own scenes at this time of year are much more crowded — Many of us are home for the holidays.

We should really say that we are at the home of some member of our family for the holidays. We as students, religious and student religious do not live with our families the rest of the year and so these visits are jam packed with emotion, activity, religious observance, forced communal time, and if we are lucky, some moments of peace in spite of the holiday.

So we find ourselves jet lagged, sleep deprived, and reminded of just how much we love and perhaps detest our families at the same time. We have left our familiar routines of study and work and often discover what we miss most is prayer. With the sleeping in, hanging out and staying up, any prayer time can get left behind. And we begin to miss it. And even when we try to hold on to our way of praying we cannot do it in a different house, in the guest bed room, or with a two-year-old nephew who wants to play with his uncle all day long. This calls for a different kind of prayer.

Of course, we have the Examen to fall back on. We can find ten minutes twice a day to check in with God. But additionally, we might find that prayer about and for our families is very fruitful. As religious, we are going to be called to lead prayer with our families, listen to all manner of interpersonal troubles, and be dragged about to other family and friends. It is up to us to discover how to do all of this in a way that is life giving for others and feeds us as prayerful contact with the ministering Christ. This calls for us to remain aware of who we are being called to be for our families.

I am not suggesting dressing in sandals and a robe during the Christmas holidays. But I am saying that if we can understand the demands of our family as ministry then we can meet those demands in a Christ like manner. We can avoid the traps that history sets for us when we return to our families and the traditional expectations that are there waiting for us. We can choose not to always annoy that one relative or be aggrieved of that other one. We can choose to be patient, joyful, calm and forgiving. We can choose to remain connected to the all loving grounded, centered Christ whose birth we celebrate during these days.