So what is your so called spiritual life all about? What are you trying to do with it, through it? Is it right up there with yoga, weight training, protein shakes, and herbal cleanses helping us to be better every day and in every way?

According to St. Ignatius, our search for God is a response to our already being found by God. Okay fine, but that just opens up more questions. The first one might be —why is God looking for us? What does God want from us? Are we going to have to move again, go into a witness protection program and stock up on mace just to leave the house? What does God want from us?

God wants us, not something from us. God is seeking us. This is where we can make it more complicated than it actually is. God’s invitation to us is like a host inviting us to a party. Once we get it through our heads that God sent us a party invitation and not a disapproving mid-term report card, we then start the next round of dithering. This consists of trying to find the best present to bring and a perfect set of clothes to wear. This is us missing the point.

God does not require a perfect gift; God wants us to show up. God wants our presence. God is looking for union with us not perfection from us. St. John of the Cross writes that our progress in the spiritual life will measured by the “amount of room given to God to maneuver.” This means that we are to be clearing the decks, opening wide our doors, and always getting ready for the hundredfold. Iain Matthew, reflecting on St. John of the Cross, states that our priority as Christians should “not be self-realization (perfection) but relationship (union). Wow. Can we open ourselves that way?

It is easier to make our spiritual life about self realization, about self fulfillment, about self actualization. Then the focus can remain on ourselves. Far harder, and far more fruitful is to realize that the Bible is not a self help book. That the insights of people like St. Ignatius and St. John of the Cross are not notes from gifted life coaches. Realizing this leaves us alone with God, the host of the party walking across the crowded room to engage us in conversation. Can we be there to meet God?