Jesuit Jedi

1. Where are you currently missioned and how’s it going?

I have been missioned back to the school I graduated from, Jesuit High School in Portland Oregon. I am a theology instructor for freshman and sophomore religion classes as well as an adult and alumni formation coordinator and the freshman retreat facilitator. I absolutely love it. I was born for this.

2. When the first time you thought about being a Jesuit?

I probably first thought about becoming a Jesuit at about the age of eight, I remember having a conversation with Fr. Joe Small, S.J. outside of a Jesuit High basketball game. I remember being fascinated by him; he was like no other adult I knew. He seemed so happy and so full of life. I remember watching the original Star Wars about that time and I can recall thinking that these Jesuits who taught my older brothers must really be The Jedi. I wanted a piece of that happiness and adventure.

3. How have your friendships changed or stayed the same since you entered the Portland novitiate?

Well to be honest when you become a Jesuit you kind of become a bit of a “Rock Star.” Perhaps it is all in my own mind but I find that people gravitate toward us. I don’t think I was nearly as popular or attractive to my friends before I entered the Society. I find that maintaining long term relationships is quite easy. My friends all understand that I travel and move around a lot. They seem to allow me to come in and out of their lives with more flexibility than might be granted to others. I guess the biggest change in my friendships is just the increase in volume. Most of my closest friends though are people I met around the time I entered the Society. They are people who understand and respect my desires and people who have helped me grow deeper into my vows through the years.

4. Is there a particular author, artist, musician, etc. that has resonated with you during the transition into religious life?

Hundreds, perhaps thousands. I’ve spent the last ten years reading, praying, exploring and contemplating life’s mysteries. I have not done this alone. I suppose Job has helped most but Black Elk and Frank Fools Crow and Vine Deloria Jr. give me much sustenance. There is also the writing of my Jesuit bothers; Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Anthony DeMello, John Dear, and scholars like Carl Starkloff. When I need music that lifts I find some Michael Franti. When I need to vent its Rage Against the machine or Live. When I want to chill it is Widespread panic or String Cheese Incident. And when it is live music I seek it is usually folk or bluegrass.

5. What the biggest surprise so far?

I don’t want to sound too cheesy but it is crazy how much fun all this is. Before I entered religious life I thought I was going to spend the next ten years getting my butt kicked by God… but all through formation the drama of prayer, studies and community was filled with compassion and joy. The biggest surprise has been how much freedom exists in living our vows. I am far more free than I ever was before having vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. This idea is hard for some folks to understand but I promise you I am not brainwashed. I have a degree in Psychology and understand enough about how this stuff works to know I am not being duped. The more I truly let go of things like material objects, exclusive relationships and my own ego the more freedom I find to grow as a human person.

6. What would you tell a man who’s considering becoming a Jesuit?

Don’t be afraid! Come to us if you want to use your broken messed up life to help heal other people’s brokenness. Before I applied I thought I wasn’t good enough for the Jesuits. A desire to be better is fine but don’t sit around waiting to be perfect before you apply. Come to us if you feel the fire. I used to feel the fire in my bones when I would write letters to the vocation director pouring out my desires on paper. If you don’t feel the fire of passion inside you, well then you might not survive being around all of us who are burning up the world with zeal. And last of all, come to us if you can let go. Each time I let go of something on this journey I am filled anew. Some people hold on so tight to their identity or their attachments they are unable to journey far and wide as our life requires. In general don’t be afraid to be broken, passionate and care-free… we’ll love you for it.